Why You’re “Spectatoring” During Sex — and How to Stop

DEAR DR. JENN,

Sometimes while having sex, i am too centered on my performance and look to actually relish it. At the best, my head simply wanders; at worst, i am thinking in what my human body appears like as opposed to exactly what it is like. Just how do I stop? —Distracted Enthusiast

DEAR DISTRACTED LOVER,

It’s not just you. What you are actually experiencing is exactly what intercourse practitioners often call spectatoring, a phrase created by the famous ’60s intercourse scientists referred to as Masters and Johnson. Just exactly What it boils down to is being extremely alert to your self, your spouse, or just just how your spouse views you during intercourse, and it also frequently appears as a vital interior discussion or distracting ideas, whenever everything you actually want to be doing is concentrating on your own personal as well as your partner’s feelings.